10/12/11

I have had a crap week.

I have been fighting and fighting.

When Shane left, I had nothing left. I was completely empty and defeated.

Slowly I have been rebuilding some of that... well I guess, resilence in me. But I am nowhere near 'full'.

I had a little bit to give this week - battling DHS has taken all that and more. Seeing Lincoln and Shane today was more than i could take.

I came back home earlier than expected because I just couldnt handle it. I just wanted and felt i needed 24 hours of sleep. Just to check out of real life.

Of course as soon as I came home, I was wide awake and didnt feel like sleeping.

Against my better judgment I had a drink. I got halfway through and realised I was more depressed. Then something made me laugh.

Since that moment, I have had a few drinks and been online chatting with friends, laughing and sharing some of the best and most annoying songs of the 90s. It is not how I saw my night going. But omg, it has been entertaining.

So, to my gorgeous facebook friends and those who have entertained me tonight, i thank you with everything i have. because i didnt think i could go on. i was just 'spent'. i had nothing else to give.

but you made me smile, you made me laugh and you made me remember a much simpler time (the 90s when i thought everything was so hard!) Thank you. Every night I get through is a victory and i could not have done it tonight without you xoxox