I dont want to be like her. I hate her. She ruined me; my life. She gave me life, she gave me this disorder.
I dont want to be her. I want to be so much better than her.
Yet here I am. Drunk and listening to music. Only differnece is that im not traumatising my kids in the process. I hate her. I cant wait til she dies.
I want to be so much better than her. I know I am. I want so much better for my kids than I had.
What I wouldnt give to have my Lucas here with me now though. I need him - just as much as he needs me, if not more. What I wouldnt give just to cuddle up to him right now. have a sleepover.
I made so much wrong choices. I have become everything I dont want to be.